Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
