More tranny stories later!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
