If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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