Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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