God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
