i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
