she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I could fuck to npr.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
