ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
