Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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