someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
