I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Where is the hickey?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
