nut hugger
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
