I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize