I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
