Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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