She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
