what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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