I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
