I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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