i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
