I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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