Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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