Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
