Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
