I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
