my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
