I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
