She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
