If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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