I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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