Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
