I think I died a long time ago.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
