I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he fucked my hip out of place.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
