She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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