ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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