As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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