If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize