dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My life is pants optional.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize