If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
