Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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