Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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