Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
