Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
