That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
