It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize