I'm laying in your front yard are you home
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
