How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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