you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
