Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
