Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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