You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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