I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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