return my video game
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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