I need help removing her.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just gift wrapped bread.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
