so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My ass is underappreciated
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
