Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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