I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Two words: blizzard sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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