Christians are straight up FREAKS
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
