This girl is more easily done than said...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
