I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just cut my nipple shaving
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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