I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
