Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
