Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
