True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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