Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
