a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm too high and old for this...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
