either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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