Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
