nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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